A Love Letter For Ourselves

The Fearless Girl by Kristen Visbal

February 14th, a perfect end to the so called ‘relationship season’ that starts in late November and sees us through Christmas, New Year and then finally, the big one, Valentine’s Day. After that, all of us singletons can start feeling better about our single status, as it stops being thrown in our faces like heart shaped ninja stars.

But what is it about February 14th that made it the most dreaded day to be single? It takes us back to a time in school when all the cool girls would boast about how many cards and secret valentines’ they’d been given. Looking back with greater wisdom than our thirteen year old selves possessed we can see the glitter-glued heart on a crumpled piece of card was nothing to be jealous of, but at the time it was the single biggest thing in our world.


In our adult lives the pressure intensifies as we are told constantly to find someone. We are made to feel lesser for being single, as if we must be sad and hunting for ‘the one’. Gradually our friends start to pair up, accomplishing miles stones like moving in with significant others and engagements following soon after. We become a rare breed in our friendship groups, known simply as the ‘single friend’ - or in the wild as Una Amicus - as if they've spotted a species on the brink of extinction which needs urgent saving. They try and help by setting us up with their partner’s friends, a gesture that comes from kindness but makes us feel as if we are desperate and should be pitied.   


Valentine’s is, however, a day to celebrate love, in all its many forms. This is why it shouldn't be reserved only for couples, as if it’s an exclusive club you can only join once you are in a relationship. Therefore we should extend this celebration to not only romantic partners but to all of the loves in our lives. Our family, our friends, our pets, but most importantly ourselves.


In fact we are magnificent on our own and incredibly the world keeps spinning and our lives go on despite our dating status. We are not the Bridget Jones spinster of our friendship group and just because we are single it doesn’t somehow diminish our value in this world. Also, we should all take note of how great Bridget Jones’s life actually is! Living on her own in central London at 30, two men chasing after her?! Get over yourself Bridget, your life is fine.


We forget that the love we have for ourselves should be without shame or justification and instead shouted from the rooftops. We should be proud as we look where we were a year ago and where we are heading next. While terrifying, to not show ourselves the same kindness as we would others is to spend all our time in the company of unkindness. Valentine’s Day can be as much about self acceptance and love than looking to another person. So we should take the time to treat ourselves to that new coat when payday finally comes, book that city break that’s been on our bucket list and not waiting around for a plus one to join us. Or simply it’s lighting a candle and putting on a face mask, buying ourselves some flowers and just remembering we are both lovely and loveable. We are the best company we could ask for. If we don’t celebrate and love ourselves first then who will?

Let’s take a little inspiration from The Fearless Girl and face down the bull, or in this case, Valentine’s Day.

Check out our countdown of ways to show yourself some love in the lead up to V-Day.